You're Beautiful

Through the past 365 days, I have had a whole gamut of experiences with women. These women come from all age groups without any exclusion, from various strata of society, living in different parts of India and the World, having disproportionate access to modern means of communication, with multitude of emotional and psychological states of mind, playing numerous roles and owning numerous responsibilities; I could go on and on. I have had just as many different kinds of relationships with these women. And many of these relationships were stretched to extremes by my definition.

Friends (close, casual, long distance, long lost, romantic, short term, etc). Sisters. Mother. Aunts. Strangers. Kids. Strangers’ kids. Adolescents. Professors. Bureaucrats. Really, a gamut. Women who’ve taken a whip from life; women who’ve whipped life back; women who’ve taken a fall; women who’ve gotten up after a fall; women who’ve tried to fall others; women who’ve been sexually harassed; women who have seduced to have their way; women who did everything imaginable or unimaginable to preserve their love; women who did everything to break away from their partners; women who found love; women who lost love; women who have cooked the best meals for me; women who rely on restaurants; women who have been played for gain; women who have played games on others; women who were promoted at work; women who didn’t get the promotion they deserved; women who respect and love others like equals; women who are pseudo fascist and rarely appreciate, respect or love; women who have come so close to me; and women who have gone so far away. Really, a gamut.

Quite ostensibly, I’ve seen so many more facets of women in the past year, and I’ve tried to look as closely as possible, that my perspective of them has undergone further change. As a matter of fact, I’m changing too, and my perspectives of women I used to know but am no longer in contact with has changed too. The best things that happened were that so many of you were such good people and such amazing friends, and I will never be able to thank you enough. Your presence in my life is a source of atomic energy, and you have to take my word for this. It’s rare that I have felt as loved, as in all of the past year. And it’s even rarer that I have loved as much, as in all of the past year. And it’s all thanks to you.

Can I be brutally honest with you? Because on this day, International Women’s Day, 08 March 2011, I suppose I can be honest when it comes to you. But who am I to decide! Let’s see how this goes.
I shower praises on you all, incrementally year upon year. This time around, I have a request. I know that it’s been a particularly unsettling year, for many of you, and I must tell you that in some weird extension, it’s been unsettling for me. When I say unsettling, there’s an obvious negative connotation to it. The most prominent contributor is the aspect of individualism. I found, that several modern independent women fail to appreciate the subtle differences between suggestion, request, feedback, criticism, sharing, advice and order (instruction); and perpetually default a situation to be conceived as an advice or order towards them, while completely dismissing the circumstances and their importance, the relationships involved, and without due consideration for giving benefit of doubt. Yes, not everybody is happy and accepting when they are given advice or orders, especially when not asked for. And depending on who you are, it could make you momentarily upset, or it could send you into shock, or anything in between. It probably takes a lot of maturity to reach that point in life when you know what matters and what doesn’t, and handle the situation with finesse.

Coming back. I gather that some of these women simply don’t understand the differences; or their bitterness with life is so overwhelming that they will jump at any opportunity to transfer it to others; or they’re just playing out roles to fulfill their fantasies to sustain a state of self pity; or they’re too drunk on individualism and place all situations in a circle that encloses only themselves and which is completely devoid of any social, rational or spiritual meaning.

My request is, please, take a few deep breaths, and calm down, and look at things in larger perspectives, grow your heart, as you grow in age. And if you just thought that I’ve lost my mind, well, that’s quite possible too, sometimes I do feel that I’ve gone bonkers.

That’s so much from me on your special day. I deliberately waited until the end of the day to post this, I hope you’ll understand. We need you women, not just because you make babies, but because you make this world a more beautiful place, every day. I’m a romantic at heart, and I love to love, and I love to care, and whoever you are, and wherever you are, even if you’ve broken my heart, or lied to me, or you’re not talking to me, I love you all.

Smiles and Cheers
Mayur Poddar

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